The End Is Near. Of morning sickness, that is! After almost 3 weeks of feeling nauseous day and night, throwing up all day, every day, horrible headaches, all my energy gone, and having any smell put me over the edge, I am finally starting to remember how it felt to feel normal. This week has been a recovery week for me. Having lost 10lbs in 2 weeks from not being able to keep anything down, I was so weak and nutrient deficient. I couldn't stand up for 30 seconds without becoming lightheaded, dizzy and have my heart start pounding like crazy. I still get dizzy if I am walking around/standing for too long, but my appetite for food is slowly coming back. I am feeling a little stronger every day.
But then there is my kitchen. I used to love my kitchen. Will and I spent the majority of our day in there. Now, it is my enemy. My constant fear. Smells are a big deal for me when I am pregnant. I still can't go in there and not become sick to my stomach. That's just stepping foot in there, lets not even get into having to open the fridge. Oy.
This whole experience has been so emotionally draining too. I have never felt so useless in my life. It's an awful feeling. From the outside it looks like I have it made. Perhaps I do. Someone always there to watch and care for my kid. Feed him, change diapers, entertain him. My house being cleaned and laundry being done for me while I get to sleep in, lay on the couch all day watch movies, and take naps. My whole purpose in life is to be a wife, a mother, and I couldn't fulfill either of those. I love caring for my son. Getting him dressed, changing diapers, preparing healthy food for him, teaching him right from wrong. All of which I had to put in the hands of other people. Not easy to do at all. Will has hardly been here at all for 3 weeks now. He has been going back and forth between grandparents houses and spending time with daddy at his store. It helps that he has been such a good boy.
Then there is my husband. He has been absolutely wonderful. So far beyond anything words could express. He has been completely selfless. On top of being crazy busy with work and dealing with the stress owning your own business brings, he has also had to step into the role of caregiver, housekeeper, cook and daddy mommy. He gets up extra early to bring Will to his grandparent of the day, changes dirty diapers (big deal!), packs up Will's diaper bag remembering even the little things like the binky and socks. He has been working long days, and comes right home to care for me. Does the laundry, dishes, fends for himself for food. I don't know what I'd do without him. I love you so much baby!
So, here I am. 10 weeks pregnant. The worst is over. I am finally getting excited again about this pregnancy. Happy to have been able to have 2 planned pregnancies, and no early "surprises". I have a thing about planning things out. I have my first midwife appointment in a couple weeks, and I can't wait to hear the heartbeat for the first time! I plan on doing a much better job of documenting my growing belly then I did with my first. Don't worry, I won't bore you with a belly pic every week, especially this early on, but I just wanted a starting "before" picture. I'm really not showing at all yet. That little bump is just the stubborn leftovers from baby #1!