The first principle in the book “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield is the one on which everything else is built. This principle tells us to act as if we have power over everything in our lives. If we believe that everything in our life is our own responsibility then there are no more excuses to be made and nobody or nothing to blame.
Building on this idea, we have to understand that the only thing we can change is ourselves. We can change how we think about something (that little internal voice or the images we create in our mind) and we can change how we react to an event. That’s it. Nothing more is within our power.
This is something we’ve all heard before in one form or another. It is very easy to understand but not as easy to put into practice. If this one is new to you it will take a while to really live it. I remember when I was younger I used to get upset if I got stuck behind a slow driver. I’d think things like “She’s on the road for the sole purpose of making me late to my appointment!” Or “Doesn’t this guy know I want to get around him? Is he driving this slow on purpose?” Now, nine times out of ten, it doesn’t get to me (I admit sometimes I’ll have a relapse). Now I don’t put so much thought into it. I can’t change the other driver. I can’t make them get out of my way. I can’t make them drive faster. All I can do is slow down and if an opportunity arises I’ll pass the car. That’s it. That’s all that is within my power. That simple change in how I perceive people and traffic has made driving much less angst ridden for me.
On the road is just one example. At first it took a lot of effort to change my thinking. I’d have to intercept my thought process and rewrite the monolog that was taking place in my head. Now it comes with much less effort. When I feel myself starting to have a negative reaction to an event I’ll ask myself “What can you do to change this?” If there’s nothing I can do I’ll accept it. If there’s something within my power that I can do to reduce my anxiety then I’ll do it.
Of course not only does this way of thinking reduce anxiety and stress it also empowers me. I’m not living at the mercy of anybody or any situation. There is always something I can do to make my life better. As a matter of fact I’m the only one who can do anything to make my life better. If I don’t like my job I can try to change the things I don’t like, change the way I think about those things, or change jobs. I don’t have to suffer through it.
The only way the other principles in TSP will be able to have a positive impact on my life is if I totally and fully live by this first principle in every situation. I am 100% responsible for my life!
3 Comments
Now I’m really curious to read The Success Principles, because most of what you’ve said about it so far I’ve worked on before. It sounds like I moved towards it from a different angle sometimes, but Yeah.
Since you’ve already mentioned them both, did the first and last principles have the biggest impact you you, or is there another one that made you really stop and think?
Good question ottertri. I don’t think I can point out any single principle that has had the biggest impact on me. TSP is like a cookbook full of recipes. Some of the recipes may be familiar and you know how to make them and how they’ll taste. Others may be new and you can only imagine what the meal will taste like when you’re done cooking. There are some principles in the book that, I believe, after I work through them and implement them will have a big impact on my life.
Principle 1 (Take 100% Responsibility) is something I’ve heard many times before but I like they way Jack explains it in the book. He uses the formula E + R = O which stands for Event plus Response equals Outcome. If we want to change the O (the outcome) the only thing we have direct power over is the R (response). Maybe expressing it as a formula resonates with me because I enjoy math and the logic behind it.
I didn’t really think about Principle 64 (Empower Others) much at all. When I read it it sounded to me like it was just a tactic to sell more books. End the book by telling people to spread the word about the book. After I listened to the audio book a couple of times I felt a bit overwhelmed. There is a lot of information in the book and I’m definitely at a point in my life where I’m looking to make drastic changes. I started thinking about how I was going to put the information into practice. That’s when I thought about creating this blog. I figured that what I’m going through must be fairly common so it would be nice to share it with people and hear their stories and get some feedback. It wasn’t until I was writing that third entry when I realized that this entire idea of the blog is Principle 64 in action.
The Responsibility one sounds like something I learned from Steven Covey years ago. From the Seven Habits, one of the tactics for taking control of and thus responsibility for your responses is to pause before you react. Think about what you’re reacting to, and what you want the outcome to be, and what is true to yourself. Also, what’s the real reason something upsets you? If you figure that out, you realize it’s not always the current situation that set you off. That helped me understand the idea that people don’t make me mad, I allow that to happen. I don’t necessarily agree with it completely, but it did change how I deal with difficult situations. I’m not always successful, but taking time to think and compose myself before I react to something I’m not happy about does tend to make it less stressful.
I guess I’d have to actually read #64 to see what you mean. One of the things that makes me happiest is helping other people succeed, so empowering others doesn’t automatically sound like street team marketing.
Interesting.